I wish,

I could live my life like an episode of skins, sex, spliff, vodka& mdma all in 40 mins (:

oh got the toyworld job, i start thursday:D
pretty awesome, i get to wear what ever i want, fuck yeah.

:D i love her

& I wonder why I'm still single (:

i need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be.

mumford& sons are freakin awesome :D

anyway today is sunday..
Beren& I went job hunting today, just around carindale, city& southbank. we actually had a pretty good time (:
we also stopped and sushi with Remi on her break, then looked at shoes and Christmas decorations.

I have an interview at Toyworld/ Gameworld Tuesday I'm so excited :D
also hanging with Levi Tuesday night, getting rowdy I assume.
Life is already sort of looking up...
it would be awesome if I could have my phone back though.

I will do a proper post tomorrow.. on my new laptop :D
so excited.
night.

when did this all become so meaningless

I've spent hours, attempting to make lists in my mind, sequential, reasonable straight forward lists. Trying to determine the exact moment I threw away my life. I realized that It is fairly silly of me to attempt to make sense of such unreasonableness.

I can't really blame anyone else, as much as I'd like, I can't blame the alcohol or the weed, because these are the same mistakes I was going to make sober. I just need to some how make things right, to think straight and make good decisions for my life. Something I haven't done since June this year.

I wish I could take the easy way out,
but I know how much that would hurt my family &I'm guessing my friends would care to.
I would do anything to start over. The sad thing is I thought I might've had a chance in any relationship with anyone. I'm not the girl that guys think of when they say girlfriend...

I'm more the girl that gets thought of as drunk sex girl.

I now realize how easily I've let myself be used.

ani is a boozy loser (:

the hummer was rad(:

whoever stole my phone is not, If I ever find out who it was, well yeah fuck you.
not to mention SMC phone was also stolen, as was GB jewelery. The people at this party were all friends which makes it pretty dero of who ever it was...


anyway I'm super tired, I have bruises on my knees, hips, back elbows & like everywhere, literally hurts to walk.

I'm going to go sleep this off now.

night.

this is a little insane.

The title being completely unrelated to the post actually.

Yesterday I was fairly bored& reading one of my favorite blogs It had a link to a fairly recent interview with Kate Moss (the supermodel who has been blamed for starting the 'waif thin/heroin chic era& current face of YSL's new fragrance campaign).

She is quoted as saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".
According to other articles, this has become the slogan for many 'pro-anorexia sites'.
Now I had no idea what those even were until I googled that to, basically they are forums that say anorexia=beautiful & have many pictures of girls with they bones almost popping out of their skin which they use as 'thinspiration'.

I was left feeling a bit disgusted, I know eating disorders can be terrible, emotionally& physically. But the fact that their are people who support this& write blogs about their quest to become anorexic/bulimic is incredibly messed up.

I know their have been times when I have desperately wanted to be that perfect skinnyness. When I've thought fuck having boobs, I just want to be thin, like grungy& waif like. Fortunately I realize that that would be slightly insane& that I need food cause otherwise I turn into a crazy bitch.

I know that a lot of people aspire to lose weight, but not eating isn't the way to do it& neither is boozy weekends><
eating healthy, cutting out takeout& sugery foods will not only help you lose weight, but you'll feel a lot better to.
Now if only I could follow my own advice:/

I've been listening to way to much

baby bash, t-pain, lil wayne, family force 5& brokencyde..
just call me ghetto, kay thanks :/
I'm actually kind of sick at the moment, fever& stuff, so mum& I made a trip to the shops for sustinence.. cherry ripes, peach&mango yogurt & some panadol.
On the way there I had this awesome idea, I think it's time to get my learners so I can save up& buy a really hot car that I can street race in.
That's right, I want a sexy fast car so I can win illegal streetraces^^
I some how just got yogurt in my hair><

Also it seems that I have a tan..
I know omg, mum just looked at me& was like your kinda tan lol.
anyway, today I'm basically going to be uploading dad's music to the computer cause he just got an ipod touch, grr jealous.
I never knew till now that he was so into pink floyd.

the end

It's almost the end of year 11, one week guys!
pretty terrifying. It's almost the end of 2009, which is why I've decided to make a list of things I want to to do before/ or on new years.

1) Get a job! I really need money & stuff.

2) obviously I want to do some insane partying before grade 12;) so getting crunk is on the list.

3) get fit, tone up. ^^ shuddup I'm lazy.

4) get a bit more confidence.

anyway, I know that most of you don't know who Daul Kim was, but she was incredibly smart, funny, beautiful& amazing. her blog www.iliketoforkmyself.blogspot.com was really good and stuff. she was 20 years old when she died a few days ago, she was one of my heros & i almost cried when i found out that she had taken her life. rest in peace daul.

she move her body like a cyclone, makes me wanna go all night long;)

So I took a little break from blogging, to focus on schoolwork *coughcoughpartyingcough*
I basically want to use this blog as a sort place I can post the pictures from insane parties, write little pointless things about nothing& hopefully entertain some people.
I will also be posting about fashiony stuff, like I used to in an old blog of mine.

so welcome and stuff.
did I mention I'm dying from like heat wave pain, I'm actually a little sick to, not that stopped me from wanting to go out last night. unfortunately there was NOTHING on at all..
except for some beach party at schoolies, but as if I'd bother going haha.
fuck you schoolies for stealing all our parties. you know what else sucks, getting random texts at midnight while you trying to sleep. especially when it's people asking if theirs any parties you know of. I think I've lost my limitless partying abilities.
hopefully i feel better by friday :D
pink stretch hummer bitches.. and Georgia's little party (:
then saturday night maybe some clubbing?
If I'm feeling sneaky& theres nothing on.
anyway, I'm going to go collapse in my bathtub, it's to hot.