I've spent hours, attempting to make lists in my mind, sequential, reasonable straight forward lists. Trying to determine the exact moment I threw away my life. I realized that It is fairly silly of me to attempt to make sense of such unreasonableness.
I can't really blame anyone else, as much as I'd like, I can't blame the alcohol or the weed, because these are the same mistakes I was going to make sober. I just need to some how make things right, to think straight and make good decisions for my life. Something I haven't done since June this year.
I wish I could take the easy way out,
but I know how much that would hurt my family &I'm guessing my friends would care to.
I would do anything to start over. The sad thing is I thought I might've had a chance in any relationship with anyone. I'm not the girl that guys think of when they say girlfriend...
I'm more the girl that gets thought of as drunk sex girl.
I now realize how easily I've let myself be used.
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