no idea what i'm wearing to berens.

somebody want to go late night this thursday?
REMI!!
cause we can get lingerie to ;D

so smashed

you know what i hate?

people who judge people on their looks,

went insane

spent a shitload of money today :D
new dress
2 tops & a skirt,
im ready to party bitchez

i just want your sex,

got problem?

no seriously, I think your just jealous (:
nobody does it like I do

working 9 til 5.

I'm serious.
9- every day this week.
cept for the weekend of course :D
and next week& the week after :(
oh well/

so it turns out that motel zoe wolf dress i wanted isn't in stock anywhere in brisbane,. or australia, you can only order it online from the uk.
which makes me wonder why the fuck is universal advertising it on there website hmm?
*sadface*
dosen't matter though. picking up this cute little strapless silk lbd from sportsgirl on my break tomorrow& it's 30 bucks less than the the shitty wolf print singlet dress :D

also I'm buying a new phone friday, shall be the same number as my old one.
payday friday :D
pancakes friday night !!!!!
fuck yeah, weekend.

Sunday.

Today is sunday so I figure about time I write a sort of to do list for the rest of the week.
- getting hair dyed grungey sort of messy blonde at either leon brant or oscar oscar, cause there both doing hair models so I can get It done for like 30 bucks, fuckyeah.

- put aside money for bus, alchol, food& ciggereates.

- save a little so I can buy a new phone soon.

-blow the rest on clothes :D

my current obsession is this Motel Zoe Wolf dress, it's pretty dreamy *drools*.
So I need that (:
and maybe some badass shoes..
or something.

it's been more than a month

since i got stoned:D
fuck yeah.

2/12/09

so today is my mums 44th :D
happy birthday mum.
I also have an interview at bett's shoes in the city friday, fuckyeah.
I start toyworld tomorrow to.
so if that dosen't work out i have a backup.

I wish,

I could live my life like an episode of skins, sex, spliff, vodka& mdma all in 40 mins (:

oh got the toyworld job, i start thursday:D
pretty awesome, i get to wear what ever i want, fuck yeah.

:D i love her

& I wonder why I'm still single (:

i need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be.

mumford& sons are freakin awesome :D

anyway today is sunday..
Beren& I went job hunting today, just around carindale, city& southbank. we actually had a pretty good time (:
we also stopped and sushi with Remi on her break, then looked at shoes and Christmas decorations.

I have an interview at Toyworld/ Gameworld Tuesday I'm so excited :D
also hanging with Levi Tuesday night, getting rowdy I assume.
Life is already sort of looking up...
it would be awesome if I could have my phone back though.

I will do a proper post tomorrow.. on my new laptop :D
so excited.
night.

when did this all become so meaningless

I've spent hours, attempting to make lists in my mind, sequential, reasonable straight forward lists. Trying to determine the exact moment I threw away my life. I realized that It is fairly silly of me to attempt to make sense of such unreasonableness.

I can't really blame anyone else, as much as I'd like, I can't blame the alcohol or the weed, because these are the same mistakes I was going to make sober. I just need to some how make things right, to think straight and make good decisions for my life. Something I haven't done since June this year.

I wish I could take the easy way out,
but I know how much that would hurt my family &I'm guessing my friends would care to.
I would do anything to start over. The sad thing is I thought I might've had a chance in any relationship with anyone. I'm not the girl that guys think of when they say girlfriend...

I'm more the girl that gets thought of as drunk sex girl.

I now realize how easily I've let myself be used.

ani is a boozy loser (:

the hummer was rad(:

whoever stole my phone is not, If I ever find out who it was, well yeah fuck you.
not to mention SMC phone was also stolen, as was GB jewelery. The people at this party were all friends which makes it pretty dero of who ever it was...


anyway I'm super tired, I have bruises on my knees, hips, back elbows & like everywhere, literally hurts to walk.

I'm going to go sleep this off now.

night.

this is a little insane.

The title being completely unrelated to the post actually.

Yesterday I was fairly bored& reading one of my favorite blogs It had a link to a fairly recent interview with Kate Moss (the supermodel who has been blamed for starting the 'waif thin/heroin chic era& current face of YSL's new fragrance campaign).

She is quoted as saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels".
According to other articles, this has become the slogan for many 'pro-anorexia sites'.
Now I had no idea what those even were until I googled that to, basically they are forums that say anorexia=beautiful & have many pictures of girls with they bones almost popping out of their skin which they use as 'thinspiration'.

I was left feeling a bit disgusted, I know eating disorders can be terrible, emotionally& physically. But the fact that their are people who support this& write blogs about their quest to become anorexic/bulimic is incredibly messed up.

I know their have been times when I have desperately wanted to be that perfect skinnyness. When I've thought fuck having boobs, I just want to be thin, like grungy& waif like. Fortunately I realize that that would be slightly insane& that I need food cause otherwise I turn into a crazy bitch.

I know that a lot of people aspire to lose weight, but not eating isn't the way to do it& neither is boozy weekends><
eating healthy, cutting out takeout& sugery foods will not only help you lose weight, but you'll feel a lot better to.
Now if only I could follow my own advice:/

I've been listening to way to much

baby bash, t-pain, lil wayne, family force 5& brokencyde..
just call me ghetto, kay thanks :/
I'm actually kind of sick at the moment, fever& stuff, so mum& I made a trip to the shops for sustinence.. cherry ripes, peach&mango yogurt & some panadol.
On the way there I had this awesome idea, I think it's time to get my learners so I can save up& buy a really hot car that I can street race in.
That's right, I want a sexy fast car so I can win illegal streetraces^^
I some how just got yogurt in my hair><

Also it seems that I have a tan..
I know omg, mum just looked at me& was like your kinda tan lol.
anyway, today I'm basically going to be uploading dad's music to the computer cause he just got an ipod touch, grr jealous.
I never knew till now that he was so into pink floyd.

the end

It's almost the end of year 11, one week guys!
pretty terrifying. It's almost the end of 2009, which is why I've decided to make a list of things I want to to do before/ or on new years.

1) Get a job! I really need money & stuff.

2) obviously I want to do some insane partying before grade 12;) so getting crunk is on the list.

3) get fit, tone up. ^^ shuddup I'm lazy.

4) get a bit more confidence.

anyway, I know that most of you don't know who Daul Kim was, but she was incredibly smart, funny, beautiful& amazing. her blog www.iliketoforkmyself.blogspot.com was really good and stuff. she was 20 years old when she died a few days ago, she was one of my heros & i almost cried when i found out that she had taken her life. rest in peace daul.

she move her body like a cyclone, makes me wanna go all night long;)

So I took a little break from blogging, to focus on schoolwork *coughcoughpartyingcough*
I basically want to use this blog as a sort place I can post the pictures from insane parties, write little pointless things about nothing& hopefully entertain some people.
I will also be posting about fashiony stuff, like I used to in an old blog of mine.

so welcome and stuff.
did I mention I'm dying from like heat wave pain, I'm actually a little sick to, not that stopped me from wanting to go out last night. unfortunately there was NOTHING on at all..
except for some beach party at schoolies, but as if I'd bother going haha.
fuck you schoolies for stealing all our parties. you know what else sucks, getting random texts at midnight while you trying to sleep. especially when it's people asking if theirs any parties you know of. I think I've lost my limitless partying abilities.
hopefully i feel better by friday :D
pink stretch hummer bitches.. and Georgia's little party (:
then saturday night maybe some clubbing?
If I'm feeling sneaky& theres nothing on.
anyway, I'm going to go collapse in my bathtub, it's to hot.

i want to feel alive,

will you let me wander,
down this path that i have chosen

will you let me squander,
all that i used to know

is it even possible,
for someone like me to feel

break me open, make me whole
crush my heart, make me feel

feel something at all,
i want to hurt, to cry, so i can laugh& feel again
to bet bitter & sweet

let me live again

today

was good because I had peach ice tea,

it sucked cause Michel's patisserie charged me for a large iced coffee, but gave me a medium=[

It improved greatly cause we had slightly hilarious conversation topic's in maths,
I now know what a 'spit roast' is, that's disgusting, so glad I declined the offer, even though I had no idea what they were talking about. How can guy's even want to do that, fucking feral.

Mrs C wouldn't sign my RTC form, so stuck in there again today for art, somebody's obviously not getting any, hahaha.

Changed back to basketball for sport, much nicer sitting in the sunshine& chatting.
poor JB, MW put orange juice in her hair& kept poking her with sticks, I would have hit MW, but his tank as& I like living=]

i feel the life drowning with every breathe

your hands, sliding down my back

your voice whispers in my ear, these sweet dreams reminiscing

of when our kisses were rough and fast

as if we would die without the touch of each others skin,

but now my lips are cracked & dry, i can hardly breathe

what i wouldn't give to feel alive again

this is not who i am, nor is it an explanation

i feel nothing for you,

only the anticipation with your arms around me.

you say you hold me cause i'm warm,

but all i feel is cold inside

i know that i'm heartless,

i know this life is pointless.

for what its worth i'm only here for the sex.

but it would be nice if you would hold me after, i need someone to hold me together..

because im falling apart

all the shattered pieces, all the scattered pieces

these pieces of me, held together for hours dissipate into nothing when daylight comes

hungoverr

So I'm not attending school today,
sorry guy's to hungover=/

I have my first day of work this afternoon, shit I've already lost my name badge.
I'll just say it broke or something^^
The thing is I was at my old job for almost 2years and now I'm super nervous, what if everyone there hates me, or if there all complete creeps.
It's like the first day of school..

I should know about first day's of new schools, having had 15 of them.
It's never fun...
ever.

So first shift, yeah I'm scared.


I also have a shitload of things to do like,
get photos printed
buy fairy lights
clean caravan
get bank details so work can pay me
call centrelink so they know i'm employed

It's just so freaking boring,


I really want to fill my caravan with fairy lights& party pictures, get the walls painted white& the doors on cupboards red...
it's such a hole at the moment=/

seriously who want's to help me make it pretty?

I'm thinking once i pay Remi's mum for the Big Day Out ticket& pay back my phone bill=0
I shall buy fairy lights & such.
pretty, so bored.

Brisneyland is such a bore, I feel so inferior to the cool kids with there dm boots& shiz.
I wish I could afford dm's, there on my list^^

Carlos's 17th, My 17 memorable moments from that night.

numb

It feels like a part of mes been missing for months now,
I don't know how or why or when it's coming back.

I don't do things like I used to, I don't get smashed, I don't work hard at school><
I just want a better life, but I'm not sure how to do that.
Maybe I'll start with...

working harder at school, actually passing all my subjects
saving my money
buying my ticket to big day out (paying back remi's mum^^)
eating less junk food><
getting fit
get out of the house
feel something, anything. hate, love, lust, disgust.. anything

teen subculture

issues- healthy weight

what the fuck-

I'm bored out of my mind, so I was watching Entertainment Tonight (lame american 'entertainment news' program) this afternoon and they did a little story on the new Dolce&Gabbanna fragrance collection featuring Naomi Campbell (176cm/51kg), Claudia Schiffer& Eva Herzigova (180cm& 60kg) according to 'sources'.

bull fucking shit if you ask me, I am 55 kgs & 180cms and theres no way I look that skinny, Eva Herzigova in a bikini is the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

I sadly prefer my own body rofl.
though in the dolce campaign she looks extrememly attractive, I guess 3 hours of makeup, soft lighting & airbrushing helps^^

I'm personally tired of the this 'eating disorder' obsessed society. Apparently if your naturally thin your anorexic, I should know, I used to get asked If I had an eating disorder multiple times a day.

I think people should just be fucking happy, because if your not happy, if your not going out, chilling & living your life and sitting on your ass then your going to end up like shrubsole (whsc kids will get that).

sorry for the rambling,

4.28 am

dappled sunshine on your skin,

tangled hair,

your intoxicated by the smell of wildflowers

falling back

i can never see through your lies

ARE YOU HONESTLY THAT STUPID!!!!

I hate getting angry, I hate being mean & I deeply dislike having to hurt peoples feelings, but sometimes I just need to get my point across.
Last night some illiterate hipster wannabe with the intelligence of a jellyfish (they don't have brains just so you know=p) thought she would comment Miss Remi's blog and be a bit of an illiterate douchebag.

The point is Remi retaliated in a decent way pointing out kindly that her posts were of original/quoted &referenced content while this girls were 100% plagiarized.

now being a nice honest person I pointed out that this girl is a few things;

AK says: 'she tries to look classy, but her earrings are from diva'
AK also says: 'dude, she is the sterotypical hipster wannabe'.

now another 'friend' of mine SMC, read this blog and assumed I was bagging her out,
I pointed out that not only does SMC not blog, she is most definatly not a hipster kid, the definition of hipster kid being messy unwashed hair, indie music & ciggrettes.

Where as SMC is more 'I'm so hood', gangstaizzzle etc.

SMC also can't seem to handle others personal oppinions, I showed the dress she is wearing to Miss SMD who said it was hidious, but apparently now SMD's oppinion must be mine to...

It's like fucking cut& paste oppion time with SMC, does she not understand that one persons oppinion is not that of all people associated with that person.

Also just a message to people who I used to mention my oppions to, don't bother I'm not going to tell you anymore because you just go straight and tell everyone..

anyway,
hopefully this angry bitch mood passes..

bye xo

Holidays.

Hello,

It's Friday morning, technically the last day of term, but it would be a pointless waste of time attending today...
So I'm going to chill at home until someone texts/calls/myspaces me with something better to do.

No, I am not stealing this idea from Remi (www.remikins.blogspot.com), I’ve actually already posted a MySpace bulletin (www.myspace.com/tahdahani)on this but I think I need a more refined version on my blog=]

-Tie Dye Marathon, this will probably consist of Mr.Reesey, Remikins, Beren, Renee, Tami, Josh, Josh 2 & Blake whoever else wants to join in. Basically it will be us making pink& yellow or blue &purple tie dye singlet’s/shirts. What can I say, were hippies?

-Watching movies, specifically Alice In Wonderland (the non-animated 2001 version).

-Working, so I can buy things like pretty dresses from Universal, beer, cigarettes, weed & stuff.

-Asian Photos, with Remi, Tami, Beren & whoever else.

-buy a bikini of some sort.

-go to the beach.

-sneak into a club with Lucy& Steph, or just get ridiculously high with Lucy& Steph.

-live the holidays at Renees=)

-build a teepee in her back yard, get high.

-mission it to the sunshine coast with the mates, go to the beach, show them best ever ice cream store.

-stop eating the whipped cream straight from a can, even if there is nothing else to eat.

-do Mitchell’s cardio exercises, get fit.

-Paint the outside of my caravan, or just get like a million spray cans from ButterBeats & go nuts with TL&BN making pretty pictures, or be lazy and pay MM to do it.

-buy more hippie shit.

-save some money, so I can go to Perth next holidays & finally meet my older brother=)
Also freedom from parents, find out if cannabis really is legal back in WA, visit Grandma, try not to scare her to much. Visit Hazel, see Trash Maddonna live=]

-thinking about dying my hair dark brown again, not sure.

-My brother tells me the corner shop lady will sell me smokes, I intend to test that theory this afternoon.

-Jagerbombs&Margaritas *nomnomnom*

(funnily enough I just added 'Jagerbomb to the dictionary).


Anyway,

I'm going to go make some breakfast (OJ).

Bye xo

FUCK OFF

hellllo=]

I'm really bored this afternoon, so yeah interview at macca's saturday with my possible new manager (who has the ghettoest name ever). I have come to realise that even though I'm one of the whitest people I know I still have a slight ghetto obsession (youtube '60 ghetto names'), for a while my most used phrase was 'pop a cap in yo ass'. I kind of think this blog is going no where, I mean what's a good topic, I could blog about parties & shit, but the inevitable end to every story would be either;

1) Antoinette gets really fucking smashed and spends heaps of credit booty calling everyone in her adress book, trust me it's quite awkward in the morning when you realise what you've done, thank god I no longer consume that much vodka or fall for guys anymore=]

2)Antoinette get's laid, which is sometimes good...

3) I hook up with lots of people, girls, boys, 21 year old drug dealers..

4) I get stoned, have good time, chill.









anyways.













who want's to help me take down Mrs.C, that bitch has it coming is all I'm saying.
Anyone in my art class will agree when we I say that either Mrs.C did way to many drugs when she was younger, is seriously menopausal or as CW put it 'Your an art teacher, not an artist'.

Her great idea for helping me to do skin co lour on my sea people was to paint them red then layer with white, thanks now I have to start again cause my people look like lobsters. As SS "I feel sorry for her family", I agree.


I'm going to go pray for my eternal soul or some shit.

bye xo

awkward lunchtime conversations

So today at lunch, myself RG, SW, KA&SD were discussing sex, and my slight nymphomaniac thing. It was all quite funny till DT came along to join the discussion, just as I was about to say who I regret sleeping with=0

anyway RG goes on to say well if you were a nympho you would have slept with DT, I of course crack up laughing and pass RG a not "I have". I know shame, so i was like obviously I need higher standards, and DT says "bahahaha you slept with BR", I wanted to say "no lol, I actually meant I regret you&TR".
(by the way I'm sorry TL for not telling you about DT, it's just to shame).

Anyway, enough of my 'interesting sex life',

This afternoon I'm in Universal, so I'm lucky enough to be a size 8/10, but unfortunately there's the issue of my boobs, I COULDN'T GET THE ZIP UP ON THE PRETTIEST DRESS EVER THANKS TO STUPID BOOBIES.
According to SD white 'washes me out' whatever, I'm steal buying that dress=]

VOTE GEORGIA FOR PROM QUEEN&KING REMIKINS,

so right now I'm so bored I'm listening to Death Cab For Cutie, thinking to myself about little insignificant things, oh and talking to MR.REEESEY on msn.

oh yeah, talking of insignificant things I showed SD, SMC's dress a couple of days ago and well she thought it was ugly and told SMC so at lunch today SMC walks past and gives me a looks so 'scarrrry' i almost laughed in her face. Who does she think she is, the only person who scares me is the demon lady(ms.garton).

anyway, I shall blog again tommorrow if anyone can be fucked reading the absurdly boring nonsense&musings i waste my time typing=]

Ani.

helllo, mondays suck=/

Hi,

My name is Antoinette and I just endured a horrible Monday, I was going to say the worlds worst, but unlike a lot of the worlds population I have access to clean drinking water and fresh food.

Yet that is not my problem, my problem is school and it's teachers, Mrs C, my art teacher bane of every art students existence. I believe that when she was younger the art obsessed Mrs C would have wanted to be a world famous beatnik-esque alternative artist with a cult following. Unfortunately she wound up teaching art in a public high school with students who probably have more talent in there pinkie finger than she has in her entire body. Yes and she's mean, you cannot even murmur with out being yelled at because apparently she can not hear herself think, possibly she has been trying to hear herself think for entire life, but has not yet heard a thought so she blames this on her students.

Another teacher (well really a student teacher), our Drama teacher has taken it upon herself to make us introduce and fake trip every lesson, hilarious really... not.

My main problem is my English talk/discussion that is due tomorrow, not only am I a terrible public speaker, but I have to stick to a script and use articles as example while trying to control J&S's free form discussion. I may be immature, but even I know this is important; I wish I was able to concentrate on ENGLISH, but all I can think about is boy's, well one boy in particular.

Most people should know by now that commitment for me is like well weird, I don't understand this concept entirely, but I think because B is the nicest, sweetest, cutest boy ever I should be able to work on my relationship skills (or at least quickly get some).

Right now it's raining ever so lightly and drowsiness is kicking in but i have english.

goodnight,
anii.

study and craving ice cold cranberry juice=]

helllo,

yes, I'm actually studying for like the first time in forever, but I figured I deserved a little blog break=]

so it's English and it's literally burning my sweet little artistic soul, no i joke but it's quite depressing that a 13 year old girl sends 14,790 texts a month, insane.
crazy little child, sending basically a text every two minutes she is awake!
what a waste of life, I only sent 366 texts last month, shame.

Anyway, i was thinking of current issues involving, well school leadership positions, no I am not running as there are many more dedicated and hardworking students in my grade who frankly i think would do a fantastic job (for example Remi of www.remikins.blogspot.com, Georgia or Siobhan).

These are girls who all study hard at school, pass there subjects and voice there real opinions on important issues.

though, that said and stuff, IM STARTING MY NEW JOB NEXT WEEK, CAN YOU SAY 20% OFF GUESS BAGS! WHOOT WHOOT!

I was at Carindale a few days ago and found two perfect dresses, the first one is a 100% silk rainbow wishy washy thigh length dress with raggedy ends from Sportsgirl, and the second is just the most perfect black dress thing for my new job, I'll post some pictures on Wednesday of my outfit for my first day at work! So excited, no work uniform!

and the wine on your breath spells gracelessness;

Today;
Remi&Wade Happy Birthday!

Today I saw Bruno, so disappointed, I was expecting some kind of interesting plot but it was just kind of mediocre. oh except for the part where Paula Abdul & Bruno use Mexicans as furniture. I think subconsciously I was expecting Bruno to stalk Karl Lagerfeld begging for gay sex, or at least something that alluded to anything related to actually fashion, not just some sad attempt at soft core homosexual porn.

Hilarious, omygosh yeah just had Bulla Mango Frozen Yogurt, delicious.

you what i could drive if i was a chef, the Oscar Myer wiener mobile. Jake, Two and Half Men.

I'm very bored right now, but here's a list of movies I want to see, yet haven't gotten around to.

The Boat That Rocked (cause i'm a music nerd)
He's Just Not That Into You
GI Joe
Public Enemy's
Inglorious Bastards
The Uninvited
Orphan(there's something wrong with Esther)
Coraline
Up
Drag Me To Hell

obviously I have great taste lol!

Indestructible Kryptonian sweat, don't ask but The Big Bang Theory is so random.
According to my computers spell check say's Krypton is a work but kryptonian isn't?
How interesting, at the moment my main train of thought is a PVC Jacket (kinda a like a leather jacket but shiny) is it an okay thing to buy/wear, I hope.



My girl crushes/icons, Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie and Miranda Kerr,Daisey Lowe, Pixie Geldof, Alice Dellal and Peaches Geldof aren't they pretty?










and yes that is a young Angelina Jolie.

anyway I'll leave you with these jizztastic pic's.

Love,
Antoinette.

Missing The Ghost

Yes, i have not posted in MANY MANY MANY MANYYYYYYYYYYYY WEEKS, unfortunately being the genius i am i downloaded lime wire and destroyed the laptop. but i am back hurrah!

Today is Remi's Birthday Party, very exciting. I shall be buying her some very cute presents today.

It seems i have landed my self in a little predicament, because i spent almost all my money on a dress i am left with to choices in footsie covers (shoes) black biker boots or red stacked heels? BIKER BOOTS!

I may not have watched SVU this week but this line 'COME AN GET YA BEATING YA SKANK!
Already mentioned by ALKIRA on her blog (i'll post the link later).
Very interesting morning My little brother (Micheal, 11, cynical, uberchef) made lemon meringue tarts for breakfast very yum!

In other news my dad has swineflu, so his been sealed off in his bedroom for the past couple of days! yay no rules, anyway my dress for Le Remi's Party. I bought it from Gripp Jeans, its black (duhhh!) zip ups the front and has some very pretty back detail. obviously its a shit
picture from my shittop, but you get the general idea.

anyway must go, food calls my name "eat us"

loverloverness,
antoinette

at the dentiste [like artiste, but not]

no i am actualley smart enough to spell dentist, but dentiste sounds a hell of a lot classier. yeah it's pretty cool my scond cousin and his son are my dentists, pretty cool just had my little thingies filled, im on j's laptop lol. anyone pissed of at KG, yeah apparently she got me black listed from yogurtmurders going away party, bhahaha pretty sure im still going with asha&markiii=]

in other breaking news MICHEAL JACKSON AND FARAH FAWCETT DIED LAST NIGHT, the world has lost an angel and peodo. in other news, cousin j's iphone keeps going off, and i don't feel like answeing his gf orla, kinda scared cause haven't seen her in five years=s

ps. Remi's birthday is around le corner, somebody should get madommoiselle buttercup something simply amazing or i fear she will never speak to us mere mortals again.

i joke, im getting her hello kitty ballons, so don't fucking steal my idea. ...........

J has just informed me that the stafff fridge is full of beer and to help myself, to bad i don't drink, anyone want me to bring them some stella artois?


in other breaking news, karl lagerfeld is my real dad, dna proven, i wish,.

looks out window dreamily.

he is the KING of my world, did anyone see those paper head dress things he did for chanel, amazing


here is a picture of my cat!!!
smoochies is a 7 year old burmese/russian blue cross.

and he loves me.


byyyyyyyyyyyye.

love aniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.